What Do You Do With It?

The other day, I thought to myself....I haven't written anything in awhile.  How sad it that?  I enjoy writing.  I think when you're not enjoying life, it's really hard to find something good to write about.  Things have changed, however.  

I'm coming off a two week hiatus where I saw my family, relaxed, cleaned my house, and tried to get my life back in order.  But as I've told a few of you, I'm struggling with what to do with the feelings I hated feeling but can't seem to get rid of.   I wasn't sure if I'd make it through each day without exploding and now all of a sudden I'm completely fine.

My first reaction was that it hasn't been long enough and I don't have enough distance.  But is that really the case?  Can you truly forget those feelings of pain, hate, and self doubt?  I'm not sure you can.  I've still got those feels from bad break ups in college, the pain of losing friends along the road, and I remember the self doubt I felt every single day of law school.  So what to do?

Honestly, I want to scream at the top of my lungs at those who made me feel that way.  I don't think I want them to feel like how I felt as I don't wish that on anyone.  I just want them to know once and for all how they made me feel.  As a person. As a human being.  As someone's daughter.

What I'll take away from this and maybe this is what I'm going to do with it is never EVER make anyone feel how I felt.  Everyday I will try to make someone smile.  I will try to help and I will teach.  I won't let anyone struggle.  Cause that's who I am.  Well, that's who I was and who I hope to be again. I found the following on Pinterest and I hope to follow them:

If this how I put those feelings to rest, I'm better for it.  For once, something good will come out of anger and self doubt.